Divorce & Marriage

Mark 10:2-16

Transcript

peace be with you? Let's pray. Father, may your will be done, Jesus. May your word be proclaimed in spirit. May your work be accomplished in us.
We pray. Amen. The reason why I have for the last couple years started every sermon that I do by asking and saying, peace be with you, and you to respond, and also with you is because the word of God is like a double edged sword and it pierces us. It cuts us. The whole point of the word of God is for him to speak into our lives and to orient our lives rightly.
And sometimes we come to passages like this one in the gospel lesson that are oftentimes ones that are challenging and difficult to bear. In our culture today, we are riddled with a culture of divorce. I am a pastor who has been divorced. So this is a very weighty situation that I find myself in. When I knew that I would be gone last week and Pastor Richard was going to fill in, that gave me two weeks to really sit down.
And as I looked at the lectionary reading and I read this, I was like, oh, thank you, God, for giving me such a difficult passage. I would love to tickle your ears all the time. I would love to speak about sweet nothings to you all the time. But that is not what God's word does. When I am confronted with God's word, even if it's challenging, even if it's hard to swallow into stomach, it must be preached.
And so my posture and the reason why I say peace be with you before I preach each and every time is so that you know my intent, peace be with you. But what we are going to talk about and discuss here in just a little bit might be really hard and challenging. I have studied, I have poured myself into this. I have spent my time and even essays in my seminary class in order to justify whether or not I, even as a pastor who has been divorced, can stand before you to proclaim God's word. Now, in my dividing God's word rightly, I do believe that I am not disqualified and that I have studied these things.
And it's oftentimes when I study that I even find my own self being riddled with guilt and shame over my past life and my past decisions and my horrific choices that I've made in my life. And oftentimes when we come to the word of God. And the purpose of the law is that it is to reveal the sin that might lie dormant in our lives or might lie active in our lives. And the purpose of the law is to reveal that the law does not save any of us, but it does bury us in death. It points to the fact that we are sinful people and that we deserve death.
But the gospel is different than the law. The gospel is good news. The gospel is to those who feel buried by the law to be resurrected to a new life, to second chances. And that is the burden I have as your pastor this morning, is to navigate this situation and not sugarcoat anything. I am one that can identify with those who have experienced divorce in their life, and I'm the one that is dividing this.
Not to justify anything that I've done or justify anything you've done. All I know is that my hope is by the end of the sermon today, that if you do feel any weight of sin, or if you do feel buried under the law, that in Jesus Christ you will feel resurrected by the gospel. And so I will not leave you in the grave today. I will give you a hope that only comes in Jesus Christ. My last words to you today, if I remember them correctly, will be that there is nothing that the blood of Christ has not purchased and cannot atone for.
Whether it's divorce, whether it's sin, whether it's drunkenness, whether it's sexual immorality. Whatever your sin that has ailed your life, Christ has wiped it away in him. And our only hope in life and death is not your ability to do things well or to not sin. Your only hope in life and death is Jesus Christ our Lord. And so with that heaviness, I now want to turn and give you a little bit about the context of this passage of this gospel lesson.
There's three things that I want to talk about today. Actually four, and I'm going to try to be really brief about it. One is that I am not going to expound or exhaust anything about divorce, but we do learn lessons about divorce and marriage in here that I am going to further teach on this Wednesday. If you have questions or struggles or you would like to just know, maybe you know somebody who's going through divorce or remarriage or anything like that, and you want to know what the Bible says, and you would like to have a biblical framework to understand these things in order to navigate these really challenging situations, in order to minister to people, even around your areas of influence. This Wednesday, if anybody that wants to show up and talk about those things, I am prepared to give you a biblical framework for understanding divorce and marriage and remarriage and family.
And if nobody shows up, then we'll continue. And I'm going to teach on how to read scripture and interpret it well, but I'm gonna reserve all those things. And one of the reasons is because this text, although it mentions divorce, is actually not about divorce as much as it is about the Pharisees seeking to take the life of Jesus. And because I'm the pastor and I'm the one that has divided and studied this word, it's my burden to reveal that to you, because it's a evidenced the way Mark is writing is to point some realities to you. He's writing his whole entire gospel.
And though we take these little sections at a time, he's still writing a complete gospel. So let me point to you towards how it is that the Pharisees are testing and seeking to take Jesus life. One you gotta remember all the way back in chapter six of Mark, we're given this specific narrative about John the Baptist. And John the Baptist gets brought up in Mark and he tells us that there is this King Herod, who marries Herodias, right? And Herodias divorced Herod's brother, Philip, in order to unite her life to Herod, in order for her to have political gain.
JoHN the Baptist confronts them and he uses these words in Mark, chapter six, verse 18. For John had been saying to Herod, it is not lawful for you to have your brother's wife. And it's that confrontation that led to Herodias creating and scheming against John the Baptist to behead him. And he was beheaded and he was killed and destroyed. Now, that's not enough.
Just the backstory in the context isn't enough to really fully understand, but it's the beginning part, because in verse one of chapter ten, we're told this getting up. He went from there to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan. Crowds gathered around him again, and according to his custom, he once more began to teach them. Now, this might seem to be a throwaway verse, but what Mark is trying to tell us is that Jesus is now in the area where John the Baptist was ministering. So he has now journeyed to the place where the drama surrounding the beheading of John the Baptist is very well known.
The word on the street, everybody knows what happened to John the Baptist. And now Jesus has journeyed himself and begins teaching in the same area in Judea, across the Jordan. You remember John the Baptist out in the wilderness, baptizing people in the Jordan. He is out in that area around John the Baptist. And if that's not enough as an evidence, there's more evidence.
There's more evidence, not just in location, and not just in the backstory. But even Mark clues us in by the language he uses. About how the Pharisees are testing Jesus. In Mark, chapter ten, verse two, it says some Pharisees came up to Jesus testing him. We might all, at this point, be very familiar with the strategy of the Pharisees.
They're constantly testing Jesus to put him to shame. To make sure that all these people that are sitting here listening to his teaching. Won't listen to him anymore. They're trying to put him out, and so they're testing him again. And how is it that they're testing him?
It seems almost so random. If you're reading through the book of Mark to come to have this discussion about divorce. It seems almost out of place. It seems so random. He's been teaching about different things.
And then all of a sudden we're confronted with a passage about the teaching on divorce. But the way that Mark writes it clues us in on the fact that this whole situation, the context, has everything to do with the Pharisees wanting Jesus to meet the same end as John the Baptist. If they can test Jesus about whether or not it's lawful for a man to divorce his wife, which is the question about Herod and Herodias. Then maybe Jesus will meet the same fate as John the Baptist. In the area where everybody knows that's going on.
So how Jesus answers this question, he might end up imprisoned and beheaded. And so how does he answer this? Well, before we can actually get to that, I got one more piece. Jesus talks about this a little bit more. What further evidence.
The fact that this is the context, that this is the story behind the scenes of why Mark is writing this paragraph about divorce in a very random narrative, is the fact that when Jesus talks about it with his disciples in verse ten through twelve. Let me just read that in the house. The disciples began questioning him again about this. They just asked him about is it lawful for a man to enter into divorce with his wife? Or can he divorce his wife?
And Jesus doesn't really respond. We're going to look at that here in a second. Jesus doesn't really answer their question. He starts talking about marriage more than he does divorce. But then when they get into a private home, the disciples question him further about this.
And this is where Jesus says, whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman. Commits adultery against her. And this is the clue. And if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery. Now, you may not know, but in the context of the culture.
Only the first part would have been mentioned. Because it was mainly men who would grant. Who would give certificates of divorce to women. It was very rare, if hardly at all, for a woman, specifically a jewish woman, to give a certificate of divorce to a man. But the fact that Jesus mentions that he mentions the husband to the wife, but also the wife to her husband.
And they're both in the same situation, points to that. He is talking about this drama, this scenario of Herodias divorcing Philip. And going and marrying his brother for political gain. That is the final piece of evidence that why I believe this context is all about that drama that's happening. So the Pharisees.
Let me just point this down here and summarize it. The Pharisees are testing Jesus. And they're testing him in a way that can potentially end him and his ministry with the people in that local area. And we know that this is true because Mark three six. This has been the strategy of the Pharisees all the way back in chapter three.
Mark three six says the Pharisees went out. And immediately began conspiring with the Herodians against him. As to how they might destroy him. And here we are in chapter ten. And this is what they've come up with is, okay, John the Baptist got beheaded.
Because he challenged the marriage of Herod and Herodias. So let's put jesus on the stand and see what he says. And maybe he might end up like John the Baptist. And we'll be rid of him once and for all. But here's the caveat.
In John 1018, Jesus says this. No one has taken it. No one has taken it away from me. He's talking about his life. But I lay it down on my own initiative.
You know what that means? Regardless of the schemes of man, man is going to be unsuccessful in taking Jesus life. Jesus life is forfeit because he gives it up. And so what we're going to see here is that their scheme to bring Jesus ministry and his life to an end. Isn't going to be successful here.
And in the next chapter, chapter eleven, not to get ahead of ourselves, Jesus is going to ride in on a donkey. And people are going to worship him as a king as he enters into Jerusalem. And so there's a lot that mark is trying to tell you. And it's more. It's not as much about divorce and marriage as it is that people are seeking.
The reason why he's putting before you this gospel lesson. Is to show you more than just divorce. In life, it's that people are trying, the Pharisees specifically are trying to take the life and ministry from jesus prematurely. Jesus hasn't entered Jerusalem and his life will be given up when he lays it down. Nobody steals his life.
But with that context and that background, we still have lessons that we can learn from this gospel. He does. There are some things that we can know about divorce, and there are things that we can know about marriage. And that is to what we are turning to now. Mark chapter ten, verses three through five.
Concerning divorce, this is what we can come to know. When they asked him if it is lawful for a man to divorce his wife, this is what Jesus responds. He says, what did Moses command you? And they said, Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away. But Jesus said to them, because of your hardness of heart, he wrote you this commandment.
That's it. That's all we're getting in this gospel lesson about divorce. There's a lot we can unpack. But again, like I've told you, I want to reserve that for Wednesday because the gospel lesson doesn't get into it. And so I'm not going to get into it as much.
But I do think it's very appropriate for christians to come down on God's word to say, what is it that we ought to believe and understand about divorce and marriage? But there are a couple things that we can learn about divorce that according to the law of Moses, it is permitted for a man to divorce and his wife. Jesus doesn't chastise them, doesn't say this matter of fact. Jesus response to this is an affirmative to say, yes, you're right, but it is a permission. It is something that is permitted, but with never the intent.
He goes, the only reason why there is such a thing as divorce is because of the hardness of heart. That's what Jesus says. He doesn't correct them. He affirms that what they're saying is true. Moses did write this into the law and permit you to divorce your wife.
Now, there's circumstances. They have to be in play, but that's not referenced here. We'll talk again more about that on Wednesday. But Jesus intention is to demonstrate that just because a law is permissible doesn't mean that a law is always beneficial. This is what Paul says in one corinthians, chapter ten, verse 23, all things are lawful, but not all things are profitable.
All things are lawful, but not all things edify. And it's at this point that Jesus transforms the conversation. They're asking Jesus about divorce. And so he questions them. Yes, it's lawful, but I don't want to talk about that.
Because the only reason why divorce exists is because relationships are broken is because people are sinful. It's because we all have hard hearts. And so Moses wrote it into the law and permits you to engage in divorce, but that is not the intent. And that's why Jesus transitions the conversation to marriage. Jesus doesn't want to pick up the pieces of divorce.
That's just a product of a fallen world. He wants to teach people what is right. Remember, Jesus comes onto the scene in order to make paths straight, not to make windy roads. And so what better and more fitting lesson is there to learn than what is the intent of God from the very beginning? And that's what Jesus draws our attention to.
He doesn't talk, in a sense, tells us that we ought to live life not by reading warning labels, but by reading the owner's manual. And here's what I mean by that. If you were to get a machine and all you were to read is the warning labels of how you can be hurt or what to do in case there is an emergency, that does not tell you how you operate the machine. That tells you what to do in response to something. It doesn't tell you how to live it out or walk it out or work it out.
And so Jesus, instead of wanting to read labels that are warnings, he would much rather talk about the owner's manual and take you all the way back to Genesis, take you all the way back to God's creation and his true purpose and intent on what he's doing. And so, as Jesus transitions, we're going to transition from the conversation around divorce and pivot to talk about marriage in mark ten, six through nine. But from the beginning, Jesus says of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh, so they are no longer two, but one flesh, whatever. What therefore, God has joined together, let no man separate.
That's concerning divorce or, sorry, marriage. That is the standard by which Jesus is trying to develop his teaching at this moment in this gospel lesson. And so there's four things that we can learn about marriage right off the gate, and this is four things that Jesus wants us to know when we're talking, when we're talking and having a conversation about divorce. I taught on this passage Friday at chain breakers because a lot of those guys have broken relationships. And again, it's.
But here in the text, I didn't pick this. It's not something like, hey, let me select this passage. Let's talk about divorce today. God saw fit for me this week to dive in and look at this passage and what I found interesting while I was teaching, as I was walking through what was being done about divorce, one guy raised his hand and he says, I have a question about marriage. And I was like, that's exactly the point of the text.
While I was in the previous verses where the Pharisees and Jesus were talking about divorce, this guy's first question in the whole entire Bible study was, I have questions on marriage. I go, that's exactly the point. Jesus transitions into learning about marriage in a conversation about divorce. He goes, so let's look at what Jesus wants to teach us about marriage to see if it's going to inform us about how we ought to view and think of divorce. And so here's four things, four lessons that we learned from our gospel lesson about marriage.
One is that the marital relationship is the standard relationship for a male and a female. That's obviously given in verse six. From the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. It is for this reason that God made men and women is so that they can engage in a marital relationship. And not only is that the standard for relationship, but it's also the supreme relationship.
He goes on to say that for this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother. Now, in any culture, mom and dad are probably the pinnacle of every relationship. Everybody looks to the mother and the father as the primary relationship. But Jesus says, no, what's actually the pinnacle relationship is a husband and wife. They are the supreme relationship.
They supersede the relationship between your mom and your dad and you. Right? So how this plays out is that all those who are married and but seek to really lift up the children before their marriage is not biblical. The husband and the wife are the ones in covenant relationship. They're the ones where the two become one flesh.
They're the ones that were intended and created. And this relationship matters the most. We don't lift up children more than husband and wife because there's also a theological significance to that which Jesus gets into in the next one. The significance of the marital relationship is that the two become one. A male and a female become a new humanity.
The oneness of a male in a female relationship, a marital relationship, points to a greater reality. This is God the Father, right? Father, son and holy spirit. One God, three persons. And so the union between a male and a female in marriage is pointing to a greater trinitarian reality.
We are to glorify and to image what God is. And God is unity. Three persons, one goddess. And we understand this in marriage. One male, one female, coming together as one, coming together in unity.
Right? And that's what's taking place. And this is also what Paul will refer to. And why it's the supreme relationship is because in marriage, you give to the world a photograph and a video of what Christ and his church, his bride, are like, what Christ does with his church. He unites himself to her and she is to unite herself to him.
That is the ultimate reality. And from that, the only other thing that is almost, it's not equal, but it's trying to show that reality is the relationship of a husband and wife. And lastly, we learn that it is God who supervises a marital relationship. See, a lot of people think they get into marriage because they make the decision and because they're orchestrating it because it's what they want to do. But true biblical marriage is one that God supersedes.
This is what he says. And therefore God has joined together. Let no man separate. That tells us that God is the one who oversees marriage. Marriage is his thing.
It's his institution, it's his relationship that he created and intended from the beginning. And who are you to go out and engage in marriage and then make it your own thing? This is what the world does right now. They want to make marriage something that's counterfeit and a lot of it's influenced by Satan and all that other stuff. But God says, and Jesus is reiterating here from the beginning, its intended purpose is that you begin to understand and experience God by being united as a husband and wife.
And when Jesus comes onto the scene and all that he does for your salvation and redemption and life in him is like a marriage and that he is a husband and you are his bride. And this imagery is one that helps us understand who God is. And it is God who oversees that relationship. And that's why if God isn't overseeing your marriage, or if God isn't overseeing that relationship, then of course divorce is probably going to be probable. It might be realistic.
But divorce, what we're learning from this idea of marriage, is never the intent. It's the response to a hardness of heart. But Jesus is more inclined to tell you about what the right way is and what the intent is. Jesus wants the intention of marriage to be firmly established. More than the permanence for divorce, Jesus is guiding those listening to the ways things were created.
To be rather than the way things have become. Jesus is establishing paths of righteousness, not paths of responsiveness. He aims to make paths straight, not winding. Now, like I said, I'll have more to say on this and more to teach on this on Wednesday for those that are interested. But there's one last thing before we bring this all down to a close.
There's one last thing that I think is extremely random, as random as mentioning divorce in this thing. But it's the three verses that are referenced for little children. Mark, chapter 10, 13 16. This concludes the end of our gospel lesson today. It says this, and they were bringing children to him so that he might touch them, but the disciples rebuked them.
But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them, permit the children to come to me. Do not hinder them. For the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all. And he took them in his arms and began blessing them and laying his hands on them.
Seems pretty random. I mean, we could talk about children and how innocent they might appear to be and how Jesus really had a genuine love for children. But what is this? How does this fit into the context? How does this fit into the chapter?
What's going on? Well, I've done some research, and we've just got done talking about a parental unit, right. A husband and wife. Right. Mark starts us out there now he's entering and talking about children.
And my question in my mind when I was studying this, like, I wonder if the next section of this chapter has anything to do with family members. And guess what? It does has everything to do with family members. So what is the overall eagle eye view if you were to draw out from the text? What is Mark also trying to say?
Well, we're going to be talking about this over the next couple weeks. As we look at the gospel lesson, there is something about family that Mark is also trying to present to you by way of talking about marriage, by way of talking about kids, by way of talking about mother and father and extended family that you're going to have to be confronted with. Because what I could tell you in the next gospel lesson that we're going to look at is there's going to be a guy that comes to Jesus and he's going to say, jesus, I want to follow you, and Jesus is going to, you guessed it, say, you have to be willing to leave your family and your kids and everything behind to follow me. Now, what if. How would you understand that if we didn't walk through all the seriousness of marriage, how much Jesus loves kids and what Jesus thinks about the family all the way to get to that point, when Jesus says, I just taught you about how serious and how intended, all that is the intention that God created that way.
And now I'm going to ask you to put me above it all.
I have a hard time keeping secret, so I let the cat out of the bag for next week. But there you go. So that is the last thing on our gospel lesson that we have to look at. So let me just bring this down to a closing so we can transition to a time of thanksgiving and taking the Lord's supper. And that is, divorce is deadly.
Divorce is not the intention of God. And I stand here being a divorced pastor telling you that one, that sometimes I lose sleep over one time, I mean, even to marry Melissa, I had people tell me that she was going to be an adulteress the rest of her life as she married. And I was like, if that's true, I don't want to put that on her. I'm not going to do that. But as I read the scriptures and as I really studied this, and yeah, there's some pain that comes with divorce, there comes some turmoil.
We all, we all contribute to broken relationships. But here's the deal, is that that's the reality of sin. God does hate divorce, but you know what else he hates? He hates the fact that you use your tongue to blaspheme. He hates the fact that you would use your life for your own will and not his.
He hates the fact that this world is broken and doesn't serve the one true and living God who's loving, kind, and good. He hates the fact that there's evil and brokenness. He hates all of that. It's just not divorce. It's all of that.
And a lot of times that brings guilt and shame when we're weighed down by it and we're buried in it. But here's the good news. In Jesus Christ, there are second chances. There is complete and utterly total forgiveness in all things. There is not something that you've done in your life that could keep you from the presence of God if you truly believe in Jesus Christ.
There's no sin that you've committed. There's no poor decision you had in your past, no matter what you've done. You could be a murderer like David. You could be an adulterer like David. You can be a murderer like Moses.
You can break the ten Commandments like Moses did. You can be like the people of Israel who rejected God time and time and time and time and time and time again. But when Jesus comes up, he says, if you believe in me, all that's done away, I'll choose not to remember it no more. And then you and I are going to be married, and we're going to walk together in the newness of life. You can have a second chance in Jesus Christ.
You can get and experience marriage again for the first time in Jesus Christ, Jesus is all about the resurrected and true good life. The life that you might have lived is dead. Bury it, never bring it up again. And walk in the newness of Jesus and have second chances. And that's why I will tell anybody who says I'm not fit or that you're not fit or that divorce isn't.
Yeah, divorce isn't. But there's all kinds of other things that shouldn't be, but they are. And praise be to God in his mercy that he permits divorce so that we can have second chances in Jesus Christ. That is one application of it. So I tell you, those who with me hate our broken relationships, that we have the poor decisions that we've made.
And you might feel guilt and shame and be burdened, but for all those who just confessed this morning all their sins and cast their cares on the Lord, he will sustain you and he will lift you up. And if it's good enough for King Jesus to say, you're forgiven, all is well, come and be my bride. And who's to say anybody can ever deny you that? For those who haven't experienced divorce, I do think that your life is a pillar that can encourage others. Those who have made good decisions have been directed by the Lord, who are experiencing really good, healthy marriages.
We need you to pour into the lives of those who have broken relationships. You are the image. You are the photo and the video for us in the church to say that is what the Lord intends for us to have. And you offer encouragement to us before our very eyes. And so I just want to leave you in hopes that if you feel buried by the law, because it's pointing out your sin, that you feel resurrected by the gospel and the good news of Jesus Christ.
And if you have been walking according to the right and straight, narrow path that Jesus directs and teaches us, then praise him for giving you the wisdom and the discernment to do so. Let's pray.